If you can, think back to your childhood, say from age 10 to 17, as we were growing up most of us became a bit wary when the calendar neared April 1. Excluding the actions of my older brother, I don’t remember the first time I was pranked as a child. I do recall some moments in my adult life where a friend of mine, or perhaps some non-lethal acquaintance attempted (and occasionally succeeded) in pranking me.
Perhaps the following two somewhat familiar examples will ring a bell:
“Oreo Or Else” • You’re given an Oreo cookie by a trusted friend, but unknown to you the regular cream inside the cookie has been replaced with Toothpaste (or worse).
“Sugar?” • Add sugar to your coffee or tea. Harmless enough, unless the sugar container is filled with salt, which you discover with your first sip of fresh brewed coffee.
Real news stories (around April 1 or in general) can be just as surprising. Some days it feels almost dangerous to read the news. Here’s what I’ve found in the “real news” this weekend.
“It Wasn’t Me!” • According to the Washington Post and Dr. Trisha Pasricha, MD: “Female flatulence tends to have a greater concentration of foul-smelling sulfur, and high altitudes — such as on flights — lead to increased gas volume.” Who knew? She opens her article with this: “Know that we [fart] 10 times a day on average — but up to 20 times a day would be in the range of normal. And scientists have observed that we pass gas at a similar rate whether we’re old or young.” Speaking only for me, as a sensitive old man, I’ve been hoping for something that allows me to credibly state, “it wasn’t me.”
Anti-Rainbows? • Republicans—at least those in Congress—have been clearly identifying one of the most dangerous actions that they believe our government can take: Publicly displaying the Gay Pride Rainbow Flag. Wait. What? According to Amy Wang, the new Budget Law, passed in March, has a component aimed at the colorful flag. The $1.2 trillion package, authored by the GOP/Republican controlled House, limits the types of flags that can be flown or displayed over U.S. embassies. There are a dozen or so flags that would remain “approved”, including the Stars and Stripes. Excluded from the list—which means barred from government buildings—is the Gay Pride Rainbow Flag. The ‘why’ is simple. Generally speaking, the GOP doesn’t like to acknowledge that there are LGBTQ people in the United States and, God forbid, if they actually exist, we dare not treat them as regular human beings. Welcome to the closed mind.
“He’s what?” Back in the stone age—that’s my stone age (late 1969), I was in my first job in the music industry. Listening to some upcoming releases I heard a soon-to-be-released single from RCA Records. Written by Glenn Martin and Dave Kirby, the song, “Is Anybody Goin’ To San Antone” got immediate attention. First, because it was simply, a brilliant new country song, and second, it was recorded by a rising star of American Country Music: Charley Pride. Successful Black recording artists in Country music were rare then. Certainly, Black stars in Country Music today are not as much an anomaly as Pride was in 1969, but still, in my opinion, we need more. Which brings me to Texas-born Giselle Knowles.
Giselle Knowles, better known today as Beyoncé, is going country. The Grammy collector—she has more than 30 of the awards, so far—apparently has C&W music people talking with her release of two new country-themed songs. The tracks—“Texas Hold ‘Em” and “16 Carriages”— debuted on Super Bowl Sunday night to announce a new album, “Cowboy Carter.” The timing was about promoting her new album and, as importantly, the promotion and launch of her hair care brand Cécred. (Read that “Sacred”.) As for Black artists on country radio, when country music station, KYKC-FM (Ada, Oklahoma,) replied to some fans requests to play Beyoncé’s new music, the station’s representative, according to ABC News, told the fan “the staff at KYKC don’t play her.”
The CEO of Boeing is leaving the company. My only question for him is “what took you so long?” I’m glad I’m no longer a road warrior, flying from here-to-there via 60-80 separate flights each year. It’s one thing when unexpected events cause commercial flights to end in tragedy. It’s another thing altogether when bolts are missing, and doors, windows, wheels and miscellaneous parts fall off your plane during a trip to, well, anywhere.
The CDC, Center for Disease Control reports that “as of March 21, 2024, a total of 64 measles cases were reported by 16 states and the District of Columbia. Clearly the state of Florida has been pushing the stupidity that safe vaccinations to ward off known communicable diseases are unnecessary. What could possibly go wrong? Well, some equally naive—I was going to say stupid or idiotic and thought, hey, I’ll be nice—where was I? Oh, right. Some stupid, thoughtless and/or naive parents are NOT vaccinating their children. The only good news here is that having gone so public with their “No Vax” decision, the children may have grounds to sue their parents for neglect or abuse, assuming they survive.
I’ll close with this. Here’s hoping that the sugar in your coffee is, in fact, sugar, and that the creme in your Oreo isn’t toothpaste. And let’s hope that our children are safe. Vax up, America.
Jazzdavid 